Do you know if there is going to be a viewing and a funeral? Maybe you can "take the high road" and see if "your H" would be willing to let You take your kids for a set time and then he could show with whoever he chooses to bring (for example, maybe you and your kids can go from (6-6:45 and then your H can show up at 7)?
I would hate for you and your kids not to have closure because your H is being a selfish child. Just a thought.
