My H tried to start a “relationship” with young Mexican girl, and we are not officially divorced yet. I’m sure to him this is not an affair, since it is started after the BD.

Portia, have you read the tread of imLIN who went through 2 years of separation? She mentioned that her H just disappeared sometimes and then went for 6 months without any contact. Here is the link to one of her posts:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1229971&page=2

If your SO is back with his GF and she is going through a D process, he is probably too involved in this. She is probably a handful right now, since you think she is a needy person. Also, if she still leaves with her H, then he is not experienced all the difficulties with dealing with young kids, especially not his own.

You need to wait it out. I’m sure that when things will calm down, he will find out that the grass is not greener over there.

M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state