I just sent W the 5 Love Languages quiz. She texted me and said "I got the link you sent me :)". "Do I answer the questions with how I feel now or what my ideal would be?"

I thought her ideal would be what we wanted and then maybe we could talk about how her answer would have differed to what she's feeling now to see where we need to get to.

"Words of affirmation" was first (9) followed closely by quality time (8).

I used to be terrible at words of affirmation. Its only been since BD I realized how bad it was.

I think "Quality Time" is what she was referring to when she said "should I be answering how I feel now, or what my ideal would be". Because quality time right now is obviously an issue for us because of the way she's feeling.

I'm going to suggest she read the 5 LL book as well.

Any other books one would suggest to try to regain an emotional connection and attraction to a marriage to a spuse who isn't sure they can get it back?

M-38
W-32
D7, S4
M-10
BD-May '12
S for 1 month-June '12
Reconcile, Piecing