D8 actually asked if we were just splitting up or getting a divorce. W said, getting a divorce.
That's a shame, counselors usually advise to ease the kids into it by first helping them to accept and acclimate to a separation before hitting them with the D bomb. Grizz, do you go to IC? If not I would try to find a good C to help you and your kids through this, and possibly your W too. Obviously your W isn't interested in MC, but she may be open to separation/ divorce counseling.
