Sandi2, LTH, or anyone else....what the heck is going on here???
So my W comes home from work early...I am doing work around the yard and house. She then proceeds to get into a very small bikini and lay out by the pool
Now your saying, "so what". Well, so what is I can count on one hand how many times my W has put a bikini on in our 16 yr R...and I had to beg her, and comfort her to put it on each time. So I am sitting here asking myself what the heck this is all about???
I told her that she was killing me...and her response was "dont look". Yeah right!
Seriously...what is this all about???
Who knows? Who cares? Maybe to get a reaction out of you. Don't react to anything. Be as cool as a cucumber in an icebox.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Appreciate the thoughts. I just wasnt sure this was some kind of damned game or what! And you are all right of course, I should have just blown it off and not said anything. Just so confused
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
SFC, in my humble opinion (as a non vet), it IS game playing and I can understand why you are confused. If she has never done it in the past, why now? Focus on you
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
Ok...so today the truth comes forward. I was away on military obligations all weekend. I got home late, and W was already in bed. When I woke up to take our S to school, she told me not to bother...that she would take him in, and then she was heading to the courthouse to file the D paperwork.
I told her I thought we were going to take this slowly until we both were able to move on...and that I felt she was doing stuff behind my back instead of communicating with me.
And thats when the bomb dropped again. W is claiming she found a can with tobacco spit in it Friday when she came home. I told her that is completely impossible, because I havent chewed tobacco since the first week of April. Of course I got the whole "I dont believe of trust you" thing...but I am being 100% honest with the people on the board that I havent backslid on this 180 AT ALL. She didnt confront me then, and now I have no way to disprove her suspicions.
She also stated she wanted to be free. W comes and goes as she pleases...I have backed so far off it isnt funny...she spends money as she pleases...so please tell me...how much more freedom does one need???
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
And thats when the bomb dropped again. W is claiming she found a can with tobacco spit in it Friday when she came home. I told her that is completely impossible, because I havent chewed tobacco since the first week of April. Of course I got the whole "I dont believe of trust you" thing...but I am being 100% honest with the people on the board that I havent backslid on this 180 AT ALL. She didnt confront me then, and now I have no way to disprove her suspicions.
It sounds like you've stuck to your 180 on this, so congrats for that!! I wouldn't worry yourself about the can incident, just stick to your 180. Don't get drawn into arguments with her, if she says she found a can then don't fight with her, just tell her that you don't know what she found but that you have stuck to your promise and leave it at that. The more animated you get in defending yourself, the more it will seem like you're covering something up. Remember, 180's are about actions, not words. Stick to the actions, make them consistent. Don't worry about the words too much.
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She also stated she wanted to be free. W comes and goes as she pleases...I have backed so far off it isnt funny...she spends money as she pleases...so please tell me...how much more freedom does one need???
It doesn't matter how much leeway you give them, the WAS always feels "trapped". That's just part of the script.
