A few weeks ago, I had planned a nice date-night, including theatre tickets, for W and I. We cancelled because of D9 sports event and W agreed she would plan the "make-up" and surprise me. It was Saturday night and I had no idea, and didn't try to find out. Went in with minimal expectations, but W was really excited and we started at a great restaraunt on their patio next to the Mississippi, on a beautiful night. Cheese tray, bottle of wine, and just us = heaven!
Great hour and a half, except during it she brought up something that she wants to do in October that is tied to the tat-boy stuff and said "you know I am still going to do XYZ" and I said "do you understand why I might have an issue with that" and we got about 2 sentances further before she said "I want to change the subject" and I said ok. Despite that, it was a really nice 2 hours. Then she said we were leaving for our next surprise and we walked to another rest. 2 blocks away. Again, great stuff and by this time my expectations were up. When we got to the next place, her best friend and husband were there. This was a HUGE letdown for me and my bubble was burst. So now, instead of being focused on us, I am focused on: "Her one chance to set up a date night, and it can't be just us? That now marks out of the last 4 "date nights" the last 3 have ended up with another couple or two with us. Doesn't she understand this is what got us in this mess? Or, am I such bad company that she can't stand being with just me?"
Plus, I love her best friend and husband, very close friends of ours. But, when the she is together with her friend, everyone else around doesn't matter, they are non-stop and on their own wavelength. It can get pretty annoying, but it was especially to me on this night when I was so dissapointed. I wanted to turn to both of them, but especially my W and say, "are you dense, what were you possibly thinking?" and as much as I tried to enjoy dinner and be positive, I know I wasn't a "Husband any W would be foolish to leave." When we got home that night, W asked me if I had fun and I said "yes, especially when it was you and I at the first place" and left it at that. But, she is smart, she knew.
Ok day yesterday, cleaned the boat, walked the dog with W, D9 soccer, S12 Boy Scouts. But, this bugged me all day as much as I tried for it to not. First, that she planned this with another couple. Second, that I could not let it go and let it ruin the night and leave a bad taste, not just for me but no doubt for her.
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
