I agree to not initiate talks but at some point don't we need to have that talk?
If you're done, because the chances are that pushing for that talk is going to force things to end. And maybe you are done, all I'm saying is just make sure you are before proceeding with that.
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The sitch is 2+ yrs and its repeating the same cycle.
There's an MLC site that closely mirrors DB'ing, I signed up for their emails and got one today that was talking about how it takes the MLCer 2-7 years to emerge from MLC. It says that any reconciliation in less than 2 years post-BD is a false start. I'm not up on your sitch so don't know if your W is MLC, but really just about any WAS is at least partially MLC in my opinion unless there was some form of abuse involved. So even though 2 years may seem pretty final to you, it's actually not unusual at all for it to take at least that long before things start to turn around (I'm sure there are a lot of new readers that are reading this and groaning right now, LOL!)
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Don't you think it's time to do something different? I feel like being in the same house has been a cheese less tunnel. I'm to the point I want to try living without her so I can sort if I really want this.
I understand what you're saying, just make sure that's really what you want because if you do S and then later wish you hadn't, you can't stuff that particular genie back in the bottle. I didn't want my W to leave, but I told her I supported whatever decision she made and unfortunately she decided to leave. With S I've certainly undergone a lot of personal growth, but my M is all but dead now and I think S had a lot to do with it. At the time we S'd I was hopeful that it might actually lead to healing of the M, but now 8+ months later I feel it just drove us farther apart.
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She's getting the best of both worlds. I'm shielding her to put on a fake "happy family" for her family then she goes on to OM to get her fix.
I agree with you that that has got to stop. She's cake-eating and you shouldn't facilitate that.
