Urworthy I agree with you about following through with that boundary. But if I listen to her and validate if she is talking to me about what happened wouldn't that go against that boundary. I will not engage. She will have to bring it up. But based in what he said on Wed and then what she is saying today I'm pretty sure she is going to tell me she wants to go to MC. Btw, she just sent me a couple of pictures of herself from the airport. Just face pictures, nothing saucy. Lol But wtf??
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I agree MrCas. Just really weird. Her flight has been delayed 2 hours. She has been textin me how sorry she is for all of this. As much fun as the beach was with son he wore me out! Lol
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Answering some things with short replies, but she is doing most of the texting
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Urworthy I agree with you about following through with that boundary. But if I listen to her and validate if she is talking to me about what happened wouldn't that go against that boundary. I will not engage. She will have to bring it up.
The boundary doesnt mean not talking to her, although it could. It means not allowing her to confide in you regarding the OM or anything else as if you were still in a relationship with her. She cant have it both ways.
But based in what he said on Wed and then what she is saying today I'm pretty sure she is going to tell me she wants to go to MC.
And if she does, what will be your response?
Btw, she just sent me a couple of pictures of herself from the airport. Just face pictures, nothing saucy. Lol But wtf??
Remember she is very confused. She seems all over the place. Take it slow, C.
Yes she is definitely all over the place. This text exchange just happened:
W: I feel like I'm ab to have a panic attack
Me: just breathe slowly. It's going to be alright
W: no. You don't f'ing understand
W: I'm seriously shaking in my chest and breathing
W: I'm about to walk on plane
W: took Xanax
W: I'm about to start sobbing
W: WTF is wrong with me
Me: Ok. Slow down and take a breath. Breathe slowly. Tell the flight attendant you need some water
Me: Nothing is wrong with you. You just have a lot of stuff going on, but its going to be fine. Please just breathe slowly
Me: We are going to get through this ok one way or the other. Just please calm down for me
W: I'm trying. I have to turn my phone off now. I'm going to try to read
W: I'll text when I land
Me: Just remember to breathe slowly and ask for water. Seriously
W: ok
Urworthy, if she asks to go to MC i will go and still continue to move slowly. I actually just renewed a 6 month lease on my apartment
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I am concerned about her based and her text today. That's why i would go to MC no matter what. Anything that can help her look at things and possibly work on herself I'm all for helping. Because to me that's first and foremost for son
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
C, you are a special man. You handled that beautifully.
She is struggling for sure.
But, sweetie, you cant go into MC with the mindset that it is going to help her or get her to work on herself. Those are not the kind of expectations you should have going in.
Dont get ahead of yourself here. Take it one day at a time. You dont want to rush in and start taken care of her and taking over.
She has a long way to go. Your job is to get out of the way and let her find her way through it, ok?
