Closer to Fine

[labug]

I'm loving myself more these days and that's a good thing.

What I'm learning:

I haven't had contact with H in about 5-6 weeks. Haven't seen him for a bit longer. This wasn't really a conscious decision on my part I just haven't had anything I wanted or needed to tell him, so it just happened naturally.

The perspective that the distance provides is good but it brings with it some sadness. During this time H hasn't seen S20 either. They may be communicating in other ways but he hasn't physically spent time with him. As I observe this what comes to mind is the more people are left to be themselves, the more themselves they become. I've said this a couple of different times here this week in different ways but, you can't make someone be who they are not. I used to hear the expression "You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear" when I was a kid, maybe that fits.

I won't bring it up again, it's their R but it is sad to me. They each need to do their own work, that's not for me to do.

The sadness I feel isn't overwhelming or constant, don't want to give the wrong impression. Overall, I'm good. There are a lot of good things and people in my life right now.

I'm learning my worth.
I'm learning my boundaries.
I'm learning what it takes to be a good partner in a R.
I'm learning that having fun is essential to living a good life and that you don't have to pay for it in some way.
I'm learning that emotions, all emotions are fleeting.
I'm learning to have compassion and empathy for myself.
I'm learning compassion and empathy for others.
I'm learning that what I think is not always what is true.
I'm learning that what others think of me is not always the truth.
I'm learning that everyone can teach me something if I'm open to them.

Each day is a new opportunity.