If responding to questions in a humorous way is natural for you, then do it. Humor can lighten the moment, but it can also hurt others if used in the wrong way. Only you know what you intend when you respond. If you don't have an answer, then say that. Or say you need time to think about the question. Maybe your H isn't entitled to an answer so say you don't want to share your plans.
Put your energy into choosing the person that you want to be. Grow into that person. Focus on staying the course. If you do that I truly believe you will get to the other side of this feeling good about you. You will feel proud of the way you handled yourself. You won't live with regret. If you deliver flip, sarcastic responses you are only hurting yourself. To be loving toward others is to love ourselves. It's hard, I know. I'm in a very difficult situation myself. But I will tell you this, at no time have I felt bad about myself, taken advantage of, etc. when I respond to my H in a thoughtful, loving way, even when he's hurling spew at me. When I have responded differently I am left feeling bad, knowing that I did not honor myself. You will not always choose the right action, but keep trying. You will get through this.
