I hate that MLC is so incredibly destructive, damaging lives and changing people forever.
Yes, it does. No matter what the outcome, we, they are never the same.
It is a sickness of the soul. A complete mental and emotional personality meltdown.
And it is with that thought ^^^^ that I was able to have compassion for my xh. But that does not take away that his actions were his to own. And they were devastating -emotionally and financially.
Doesn't mean I will accept living the rest of my life in this current situation, his time and attention given to OW.
Nope, nor should you.
I often wonder too, how I could ever feel "happy" or "grateful" that this happened. Not far enough along on the journey yet...
I do not feel happy that this happened, T. Not at all. It was horrific, really. It will affect my life and my son's life and probably my son's children one day, forever. I am grateful, though, for the journey. First and mostly because I trust in Him. I believe this was to be part of my story. And I have grown in ways I dont think would have been possible otherwise. As I said, do I wish this could have happened another way? Absolutely. But it didnt. And so, I have to accept that this what was what supposed to happen. Because if I dont, then I would be forever angry and bitter. That is not what I want for me.
I always read your posts, and find it amazing, if not disturbing, that your xh still seems to be so lost after seven years. Though he does seem to be possibly waking up gradually? He's almost like an MLC Rumpelstiltskin, asleep in his fog for many years. How must it be to wake up from that???
My xh is also seeming to come out of the tunnel bit by bit. T, I cannot imagine what it must be like when they do come out, seeing the destruction and loss. It would bring me to my knees. And to see my xh no happier, is such a shame.
I guess I am still mourning what is lost. Does that ever really stop?
I dont know if it ever really stops, T. Not when you love the way we do. I still get sad from time to time, thinking about what was, what could have been. It does get easier though and less searing.
It is sad that although not perfect, my H had a really good life. He had so much to be thankful for. And he has gone and torn it to shreds.
It is very sad.
That level of self-destruction is sad to see and even tougher to live with. It may be all about them, but it profoundly affects us and our children.
Yes, it does. My son is still lost, still trying to find his way. He said to me just the other day, "One day I had a family, the next day I didnt. It's not like you guys were arguing all the time. Everything seemed fine. How will I ever feel safe? Nothing is as it seems. The bottom can drop out at any time." I know he is staying in a relationship that is not good for him because he will not let anyone feel abandoned. And it still affects me, too, in many ways. But I cannot change what happened. And so, there is no choice but to accept it.
