Bea, I really appreciate what you wrote - it was insightful and heartfelt. I hate that MLC is so incredibly destructive, damaging lives and changing people forever.
It is a sickness of the soul. A complete mental and emotional personality meltdown.
It has been interesting and eye opening reading all the various scenarios around here. Seems like there are definitely degrees of severity - from cruelty, to selfishness, to strangeness, to how fast and far they run.
It is extremely difficult living with my H, and there have been many days where I wish he wasn't here. But when I read so many stories here about the disconnect from their children, I am very thankful that he is here being a father to our children. At least that is something.
Doesn't mean I will accept living the rest of my life in this current situation, his time and attention given to OW.
I often wonder too, how I could ever feel "happy" or "grateful" that this happened. Not far enough along on the journey yet...
I have spoken to my yoga instructor friend in the past about becoming emotional during yoga. This is not unheard of. I believe she said that we carry emotions around in our body, and certain poses (such as hip openers like half pigeon) release these emotions from us. For me, it feels good to release them. I feel lighter afterwards.
I always read your posts, and find it amazing, if not disturbing, that your xh still seems to be so lost after seven years. Though he does seem to be possibly waking up gradually? He's almost like an MLC Rumpelstiltskin, asleep in his fog for many years. How must it be to wake up from that???
Dear UW~
I guess I am still mourning what is lost. Does that ever really stop?
It is sad that although not perfect, my H had a really good life. He had so much to be thankful for. And he has gone and torn it to shreds.
That level of self-destruction is sad to see and even tougher to live with. It may be all about them, but it profoundly affects us and our children.
Thanks, as always, for your kind and caring words. You've given me a lot to think about (that's us, the thinkers!)
Going out to breakfast with boys now.
Have a great Sunday everyone
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
