To be honest, I have plenty of days where I feel less than remarkable. I feel lost. Confused. Sad. Angry. And just plain old beat down.
I think it would be a strain for everyone if you were remarkable every minute of every day!! LOL
You are really a great person, and imho living with the MLCer is the hardest thing that there is to do. i had a real run hard and fast, and although I missed him, and used to envy (not nice!) those whose spouses 'cared' enough to stay, now see that it is the tougher option.
Dealing with MLC is horrible. One way or another it is a sickness of the soul, I believe. I do not subscribe to the view that people simply change. real change is gradual, sustainable, and tries to avoid hurting others.
MLCers are totally selfish, self absorbed and often cruel. They rip apart the lives of those they undertook to love and cherish, and feel entitled to do so. Most normal people embarking on a course of action that they know will hurt others try and be kind. These people do not make that normal effort that we have a right to expect. They blame us and so on.
How can a person who has invested their whole life, emotional, financial and practical, in a marriage expect to feel good about the 'choices' of their life partner?
It tears us apart, and we have to put ourselves back together, and defend ourselves, emotionally and financially from everything that the MLCer decides to do. Society does not understand this, at best, and at worst trots out 'people do not have to stay in a bad marriage'
We hold emotion in our bodies, and I am not surprised you experienced waves of emotion when doing yoga, so did I.
Curiously when recently I got below my MLC weight (decided to be thin rather than simply average!), i also experienced a lot of emotional problems, as i shed a few pounds, I seemed to deal with emotions I thought I had buried at the time of the crisis.
Many years on, I still have bad days, but they pass. Life is good, and I know that overall I am very blessed. I have learned to embrace what has happened, but unlike some, I will never be pleased it happened! it has hurt too many other good people and my xh has damaged the lives of almost everyone he has come into contact with over teh past seven years.
