I wanted to chime in on the appreciation for listening tips. I want to do this more and more in all my R's in my life. That would include being more focused in each moment.
The timing of this comment is uncanny for me. This afternoon W and I went to a graduation party together. At one point I couldn't help but notice that when her friend was telling a story, she was giving me noticeably more eye contact and attention than W! I chalked it up to my newly improved listening/validating skills.
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I remember last fall when we were in the thick of it, my H saying he would find it easier if I hated him. It didn't make sense then but it does now. This patient, loving, listening response we cultivate forces them to not blame us for their problems but they hafta look inward and work. And that's hard. This would be easier if we acted badly and they could say we were the problem!
Yep. I like to say that it trips them up when instead of returning fire, we show only love. It makes it awfully hard for them to hate or blame us, doesn't it? I know T's known this for a long time.
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I kept thinking of you, T^2, and how you are excited about your garden and even said "GREAT" about your evening.
Anyone who can laugh at being sprayed by the cat must be doing something right.
Ya Mon, you're doing great T, you got dis!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
