Is this cake eating 14

[NLW]

Ad, thanks for looking in and for your thought on this.

I appreciate the perspective: this is about the kids and their dad.

On the topic of OW, I am having difficulty just 'accepting'.

If she had been a new woman that XH had met, that would be different.
She was, however, a friend who betrayed and actively involved herself in the worst possible way (black-mail) in the destruction of a marriage and shattering of the lives of 2 kids whom she knew (and courted with presents).

I hope she is not an issue in relation to the funeral.