2 year A confirmed

[complicated]

Went to the wedding last night and it was good. It was good seeing some of the people H works with that I haven't seen because I haven't been around for the Christmas parties or anything else. The people he works with and their spouses seemed genuinely happy to see me and asked how I was.

One of the people who asked how I was and I said good, he said no, really how are you. I said as well as can be expected after finding out about the A. He said he couldn't believe it. Said he was/is very concerned about my h and said he can see signs that he is getting better. Said h stopped going to lunch with all of them and pretty much stopped doing everything he normally did. He said OW is not real well liked there. He also said H has been real moody and very different. But, he said he sees signs of things changing. Said he was very glad to see me there and hopes that I can forgive h but he can understand how difficult it will be.

It was nice to see them make the first effort to talk to me even though I would have. H said that the people he works with understood why he had the A that I had treated him so bad. That is not the impression that I got though. The impression I got is they all think he had lost his marbles but they could have also said that for my benefit.

We had bad weather last night and a tornado touched down not too far from the wedding. Most of the reception was by candlelight and no power. I'm sure it is a wedding the bride and groom will never forget. H was nice the whole night but I went off on my own as did he. I knew probably as many people there as he did. It was nice that he even asked me to go with him. This was the first "event" he has asked me to go to in about 3 years. Hopefully this is the start of many. It was not as awkward as last week when we went out.

Something weird that happened. Last week when we went out it was awkward and h didn't really want to go. He didn't look happy to be there and I said as much. Last night one of the guys he works with said h told me you guys went out last weekend and had alot of fun and apparently h told him all about it. That's just crazy because I would have swore he would have told people just the opposite.
Still really hard to understand. Anybody else have this?

I wouldn't say we are in the same place as rh because my h has not committed to trying to make this work. To be honest, I don't know where we are. I still have times when I feel like I'm done, I'm ready to be off this roller coaster, then when things go well I think OK I can hang in there a little longer. But, he still doesn't include himself in stuff. For instance, he doesn't think of this as his house anymore. He does financially but that's it. He always says "yours". Every now and then he will include himself. Is this normal? He still doesn't say anything about wanting to work on things or moving back. He has said he has a lot of work to do on himself and he does. There are a lot of issues we would have to work on. He has said you have been working on yourself the last few years and I (h) have been all drugged up and I need to work on myself. I just wish that we could work on us too!