Had an emotional day yesterday, not even sure quite why.
Why wouldnt you? This is such hard stuff, T. And when you are doing it day after day for as long as you have been, it wears on you. It bubbles up and has to come out sometimes.
Have been doing a lot of thinking about everything.
You are at a critical point in all this. It is around this point in the journey that I have found that the LBS (I hate that term, btw!) starts to really take a look at whether or not she can continue. And you know, you can stop at any point. Your choice, always.And if you ever decide you have had enough, I would be right beside you, supporting you every step of the way. But, T, I dont think you are done yet. I really dont.
Right now, you cannot see the big picture through all the pain you are experiencing. Please have faith. This too shall pass.
I always say, that this was a journey I was meant to go on. I believe that with all of my being. Do I wish I could have learned what I learned in another way? Abso-freakin-lutely. But, it would not have been the same. This was the way God wanted me to do it.
You will come out the other side of this a changed person, my friend. This will test your strength like nothing else. But, oh, the rewards, T.
Focus on yourself. Take care of yourself, in mind, body, and spirit."
I find myself looking for the meaning of everything.
That ^^^ is all part of this. This journey allows you to look at your life, your heart, your feelings and figure out how to make it all have meaning.
T, just remember to take this one day at a time. I know there are days where you wonder if it is all worth it. I know there are days where you just want to quit. But today is not that day.
You are a remarkable woman, T. Remarkable. You have such grace and strength and personality, a wonderful sense of humor, an awesome way of looking at life.I am honored to walk this journey with you. I know without a single doubt that God holds you in His capable hands.
