It's very difficult to think of OW around our children. Even though my kids don't currently see H I do hope that there is a reconnection in the near future. I admit, the hardest part for me is knowing that at some point H may want to introduce my kids to OW, a person partly responsible for the destruction of my family. This is the most painful part of D and something I never wanted for our family. I don't know how I will cope when that time comes, but I know I need to. It's unfortunate for you and the kids that the passing of a loved one will possibly put you in a situation that you are not ready for.
I hope you do attend the funeral with your kids. This was your family member, not OW. Due to the history you and xh share and your recent interactions don't be too quick to think that he would want OW there instead of you. Quite frankly, it would be in bad taste if she were, but you can't control that. Keeping your heart open will get you through this. Your mind is coming up with lots of hurtful senarios. Try to shut that down. Your heart will keep you calm, your mind will not.
