Basically, things started going wrong when I was let go from a job in the field I trained in working for an organization I loved because I was the victim of some shady politics and the recession. I had to take a job that I didn't want to pay bills. This was a few months before the marriage. My depression started then. I started to withdraw emotionally and physically, gain weight, etc. The withdrawal came and went, but it got bad in around May of this year when my job became a total nightmare. (Incredibly busy) and my dad became very ill. We had money issues. A bunch of other things went wrong, including the premature death of one of her close relatives on the day of our first anniversary. My father had been ill for a number of years and died a few weeks before the BD.
I believe the issues she had with me were my emotional and physical withdrawal and my difficulty in providing (though she repeatedly denied this while we were together). I also was suffering from a gastrointestinal issue (since resolved) that made me unpleasant to be around at times.
She had training in DV prevention and worked at the local shelter. I think this colors her perceptions sometimes. Talking with my FiL a week or two after the BD, he said that she had been thinking of taking out a RO but he thought that was ridiculous.
A few weeks later, an acquaintance of the family apparently made a scene (multiple times) at her current place of employment. She filed the TRO after that, saying I had sent him. Not true. By the time this happened I had been DBing for about a month, I had only mentioned to this (apparently unhinged) third party that she had filed.
While we had verbal arguments while we were together, I never even considered laying a hand on her. I would never raise my hand to a woman, TROs are basically automatically granted regardless of cause, especially in this state.
My therapist believes she is using it to protect herself emotionally (convincing herself that I am bad and making it hard for anything but the D to happen). My lawyer thinks she did it to gain a legal advantage.
