I want him to be happy

[stilllookingup]

Journaling -

What we still share - joint bank accounts, cell phone carrier, car insurance and his car loan. H never really brought up separating those services so I never brought it up either. We are charged through our joint account. He put $ in our J account on his bi-monthly pay day. He's never skipped it once. Even when he was late few days I never say a word but he still does, which is a big 180 from him.

I've always managed finances and it has always been our rule to put the majority of our pay to J account every pay day because that's where we pay our bills from. But when we were together, I would always remind him to put $ in the joint if he doesn't do it first thing in the morning. It's not that I needed $ right away but I was so structured, organized and quite frankly crazy that way I just wanted to get things done on my terms. I'd text him at work on our pay days "How much?" meaning how much will he have left in his account after contributing his share to Joint. I always made sure we both had some "allowance money" left in our own accounts after we put our shares. He tells me how much he'll have and I tell him how much to put in the Joint. While it worked, we also created a very non-romantic dynamic by doing so.

Now we are separated, he puts his contribution to the Joint acct right on time without even my asking. That tells me I definitely treated him more like a child than an adult or husband for the matter. He is capable of handling responsibilities but I treated him like he needed my help in everything he did. sigh..