Thanks to everyone for their comments/thoughts. I'm still on my mobile so I'm checking in and will address them later - once I get to my laptop - because I am thinking about them.
I am still getting WILD emotional swings - most recently this morning - and am just thinking and praying my way through them. I never showed it on the outside (which W confirmed unknowingly recently), but I get jealous and insecure easily... even with something as simple as when W even has fun without me. So I'm certainly not detached and I'm certainly not very self secure.
That last sentence doesn't seem very accurate...meaning I do feel very self confident in many specific and important aspects of my life, but I guess at my core if I derive my self worth from her and I don't feel valued by her then I feel like this.
Maybe that's just rambling, but I hope that makes sense. I think I might be on to something. If I've accurately identified this issue, that's great, but I need to figure out how to remedy it.
More rambling/self identifying: I've already talked about how I have never really liked myself and how I've tried to live with that/me (surround myself with things and people I DO like, or escape). The oldest of the four D's is most like me mentally. Guess who I am instinctively the hardest on?
I recognized this last year and am trying to figure out how to give her what she needs that I didn't get so she doesn't end up like me.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
