yeah... me too... Got to pay close attention to this!
You are so lucky to have tickets to a date tonight.... I am very envious/happy for you!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
I have tickets WFM but these were bought months ago before she started this again. So i don't know what is going to happen. We are in middle of a heat wave too. So she might bag out. who knows. Staying in moment on this one.
I'm bummed I left that chart out. Not that I'm being sneaky I just didn't want to tell her what I was up too. Maybe it was best she saw them though. Show her I'm not seeking approval from her for anything anymore.
25 told me when she comes back a little closer to GAL more. So last night I went out..
why be bummed about leaving the chart out? I think its good that she knows you were doing stuff for yourself. It wasn't intentional.
Im confused what you mean about 25... ?? explain?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
25year on this forum. when i ref 25 that what i mean. it is a 180 to do stuff by myself without telling her. But i'm detaching. I only tell her if I feel it directly affects the kids or her. She didn't need to know. She asked me though :-) and I told her.
yes, I knew who you meant by 25... but the statement about GAL, didn't make sense... I get it now!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
when you get a sec, please visit my thread... I would like your comment. Tx
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
I know you asked Bond specifically to respond here in your current topic, as to whether he thought your W might be MLC. I thought I might offer my own perspective.
First, I am curious why you are still posting in the piecing area. Do you feel the two of you are still piecing? You certainly don't have to move to a different area, although piecing is a different process so advice here is likely to be speaking to piecing, when piecing support may be contrary to what you currently need.
That said, let me take you back to a time you probably want to forget. In your first thread, you wrote:
Originally Posted By: PON when first posting as NM aka squirrel
I left the marital home because we were in a vicious cycle for almost 2 years of fighting. There is lots to the whole situation. For one my wife has been suffering from anxiety/depression for 2 years and it got to the point where she blamed me for all of it.
IF your W is/was MLC, then any piecing may have been a false start. Some LBS think that the MLCer wants to work on the M and the MLCer will even SAY so and do some acts to support that, yet they may not be in a frame of mind to really do so.
If your W has reverted and no longer really piecing, is any of this familiar to how things felt when you first arrived at the DB board?
You do not have to close your topic here if you feel you are still piecing, but if you have specific questions and would like support from those who are dealing with or specifically support LBS of MLCers, please don't hesitate to open a thread in the MLC area.
No I don't belong in piecing I'm trying to figure out where I belong . Not newbie that's for sure. I think my wife has symptoms of MLC , was, stay at home mother , and honestly some mood disorders triggered by hormones or me breathing to loud.
I've been detaching like mad. Only initiate convo about relevant kid or house stuff. Been doing gal and most important doing the things I love. Coaching , boating and acoustic guitar.
Kd always appreciate your comments . Do you have recommendation on MLC book? iTunes would be great I have such a long commute
PON, I might have some suggestions as to reading up more on MLC. Obviously, Dr. Google can be a great indexing resource.
That said, remember that MLC is not a DSM-V affliction. Opinions vary greatly on how to deal with MLC specifically as well as those who look only at symptoms and think that fixing the symptom will resolve what ever the person is "going through".
MLC is an internal, often emotional crises that is deeply rooted in cognitive dissonance, which can often show up as DSM-V afflictions, yet are not prior nor chronic issues.
It is my opinion and my recommendation for a person who is dealing with someone in MLC, to understand that MLC includes the word "crises" and is in many ways, a chaotic form of a "normal"... "Life Transition" which can also be a great things to research and understand.
Hope that helps. Keep detaching and GALing. Your 180s are great, just remember that the are FOR YOU, regardless of whether the M is saved.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
