Taking My Space - Giving Spouse Theirs

[RealityTrip]

Hi In_It. Took a couple of days away/. I've been depressed. Now I'm cycling anger. I wouldn't call it anger... I'd call it p*ssed off! No particular reasons. Nothing happened with the W. But for some reason I am super freaking mad at her. I think it's because I have so many balls to juggle. Myself, my health, my job, our home, our taxes, getting ready for school, friends, family, pets... etc. And then I think about her. She is up at her brother's, (he opened up his lake place for the season) she is there. Going out on the boat, grilling out, drinkng beer, hanging with cool people... ALL WEEK. She literally could stay on this perpetual vacation with zero responsibility until the end of the summer if she wanted to.

So I'm feeling overwhelmed with grown-up stuff and jealous that she is on a permanent "hall pass". I doubt she is even looking for a J-O-B! Grrrrrrrrrrr!

She used to be so focused and driven, accountable and accomplished. I'm trying to understand her diagnosis of clinical depression and the meds, and the affair guilt, and the possible MLC. I really am. I'm tired. Where is MY wife?

Started reading Pia Mellody last night. (thx SD) Interesting stuff! I'm sure I'll have plenty to process here on that later!