Unless your H has stated otherwise, you can probably assume that you could still be going to the wedding, together. Although you might want to make some alternative, tentative plans in the event that your H changes his mind.
As far as the kids, your H is being a "disney dad", right now. He gets the "luxury" of not having to deal with day to day. DO NOT disregard the very real fact that, he DOES NOT have regular contact with them. What ever the reason, he could very well feel pained by that reality. So, when he DOES see them, he goes overboard.
While you should not blame your kids... your D15... for her learned behaviour, where they know how to get what they want. Kids WILL do that. Ultimately, D15 (and the other two, if they do or have done that) will likely realize its empty value.
