On one of your earlier pages I saw a comment that said something like "she is the one who has to deal with the guilt" when referring to OM.
Do not assume she has guilt. I did not. I had pain for causing my H as much pain as I did and , later on, for the damage I did to our M but I do not believe I ever felt guilt. I don't know if most people do or not. For me, personally, I felt justified because my efforts to improve our M had been ignored or mocked for years. Even now, that I finally understand I was justifying (and have told H this), I don't have guilt. It was the best I could do at the time.
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W arrived home this morning. Very happy and talkative, we picked her up from Airport at her request. She was more in-touch whilst away than she was last time. Not all the time, but kept me up to date on what she was doing, which I could not work out whether it was guilt, lies or because she was checking in. All messages ending in a kiss. (odd as she does not do this when not away).
I went away not longer after H found out and I kept in touch a lot because I wanted him to know I was not with OM. There was never a time I was with OM that I wanted to reassure my H I wasn't because when I was with him it was all about me. Just my journey, don't know if it helps.
That brings me to another thought. A mutual friend of ours, knowing that my daughters father cheated on me when I was pregnant, and that it eventually ended our R, said "then how could you do it to H?"
The truth is, for me, my A had nothing to do with my H. I had tried everything I knew how to do and I was tired, lonely and a future with H seemed impossible. At the time, I felt like I was saving myself.
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I know she checked out late of the hotel, which gave me a bit of a stress and my imagination ran away a little. But again just me drawing conclusions based on nothing.
I almost always request a late check out!
Keep doing what you are doing, you have to reestablish a friendship before anything
You inspired me to update my goals, too!
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
