Hoper1's story..

[hoper]

Hello,

The vacation was good and a bit sad..
and an unfortunate twist at the end !

It definitely propelled the detachment to break neck speed..Highly recommend it to all the LBS ..

At my sis , Just did absolutely nothing.. shopped and did DB .. H initiated the talk throughout the time i was at my sis..

He somehow finds it difficult to understand when i switch off on him.. He blames my poor communication skills.. which is true and a fact i have been working on as a 180.. unfortunately the DB and this gets mixed up at times..

When S and I met him at the airport he came charging towards us hugged me separately and then S..

As usual my expectations soared cos i was expecting the worst .. He had visited OW city 2 days prior to coming for the vacation..
( he told me he has work in the neighboring city getting better at the lying)

I asked for a family pic at the airport.. he refused saying lets get to the hotel..

I put my sun glasses on and looked visibly upset.. he then started telling me general events stuff at home, we have new lilies and some future plans which amazed me ..

We discussed vacation itinerary.. my 180 was to hand it him over to him as in the past my do it all has made him upset though i used to take that casually.. he was happy with the plans.. i validated that it was best to take things easy on the first day..went off great..

the next day he took a lot of videos of me and S .. had a great day again.. he made plans to catch up with friends saying he is town with family ..went over for dinner..He initiated LM and it did not seem odd or weird..We both did not discuss it..

The next day i dressed up really well.. He saw the dress but did not comment at all ..it hurt a bit but i ignored it.. he clicked a pic of mine ..We had a great day again..

Then after that i chose to add a few things to the itinerary which upset him a bit so i just let it be..It bothered me that he kept taking pics but did not ask anyone to take a family pic..

then he put up pics of him and S or only S on FB which really rattled me , ow comments on a pic of S.. which ticked me off..we had a tiff on something really stupid.. I told him he cant speak to me in that manner. he was genuinely shocked cos he had not really said something so crazy to tick me off..
he ignored me and we reached the hotel .. i go to the room balcony and cried for 2 hours about those FB pics though did nit mention the pics at all to him..he stays in the room with my son though stepped in the balcony for a smoke..

then he suggests we meet some friends of mine in the same city.. i dont understand this man at all.. he says i am to have no expectations from the vacation but he does not mind meeting my friends..

We have a good time .. S goes to sleep .. we both hang around in the balcony for a bit.. i am too damn upset to initiate LM and i think he is too embarrassed to do that twice in a row .. so we let it be..
Then on the last day he is chatty though he disappeared for some time in the middle..
Have a great last vacation meal.. H offers to leave the S with hotel kid services to take me to the local casino..
he hands me his phone to see the pics, goes to the wash room.. i am kinda buzzed so check his recent phone list.. and ya call to Ow made..
he walks in to see that, asks me what am i doing.. i reply that i am looking at his call list( hated myself for looking at the list).. he says oh u will never drop that habit..i mutter u r unbelievable.. he says what .. i say i have nothing more to say about that..
Obviously plans and moods change.
casino plans drop .. the flight back is quiet.. he does not mention anything ..
The next morning he pretends that phone incident did not happen..
i really dont know what to make of this vacation..

My worst fears were that he would sit me down and tell me that he is very clear and that things will never become ok between us..or i thought he would just ignore me completely and focus on S and reiterate through actions that this vacation is for S only..

He did neither , just goes to show how fearing never helps anyways..

The negatives were the phone incident, ow yet very much in the picture ( it will be a year and a half now) his refusal to take family pics let alone couple pics..

The positives were that S had quality time with his father, he appreciated in indirect ways the way i dressed and looked, he initiated LM, i believe his EA is not yet a PA not that,thatis is less damaging to my psyche..

The ride continues..

any insights and advice ??