Now 2+ yrs time to get off this limbo

[newman7977]

I do filter what I get from here and whatever I think fits my sitch I apply.

Newman,

I too think along these lines, yet... I warn you to be extremely careful as I am finding out that some of what I have filtered was in fact the very things I needed to do most.

All I can say is it is a very, very fine line and for me I have to check my self to make sure I am not taking great advice for the wrong reason.

I have been wrong, even when I was right.

JP, good to hear from you. You sound well! Yes I agree, it's always a battle picking up the choice we need to apply in our sitch. But one thing I've learned or perhaps have grown to do is not to be hard on myself. Understand we're not perfect and accept things as it is.

Good point Mr Bond everything must be kept in context. I was also of 'if there was an affair then kick them to the kerb' school.WhenI found out about the affair in my situation...anger, disbelief and a 180 in what I had always thought I would do, I went all ' melty man ' trying to pleases her, to win her back.

I'm back here after a long time as a good friend is just going through it all now and it's hard seeing him make the same mistakes I made.

So Newman keep filtering everyone's advice as your doing, there is no magic bullet just patience and it sounds such a cliche but detach and keep moving forward with your life. This is extremely hard having spent half your life with someone so keep posting and vent' and asking questions.

Hey stronger, I meant to say welcome back man! So your sitch is '07? How's everything after all this years? I got to read up on your sitch. I really appreciate you coming back and sharing your thoughts. I think u mentioned you ended up D? I gotta confess man, when I was looking online about my sitch, I was looking to read what will make me feel good and confident and this DB boards did it for me. I do feel like I'm saving myself...I didn't like what the bomb made me you know the begging, pleading...etc. I was like WTF is wrong with me. Then I found these boards and felt better. Hey what about an update on your sitch, you know post D? You sound you're in peace stronger. I'm really not afraid of D anymore.

One thing you have to understand about gucci's "advice". He had never dealt with an A in his sitch, yet he would preach to everyone that was in an A situation that his slash and burn method was the ONLY way and that anyone who didn't believe it was "sheep". And when pressed about what his "story" was, he gave excuses like "there's no reason to bring up the past", etc. That's a very important distinction to understand.

MrB, thanks for that insight I made a mental note on that. Anyway, I fast forwarded your sitch and your last topic was you and your W were still separated. Care to share how did you two get back together? Did I miss your piecing thread? You had good threads because you took all the questions that runs in my mind all the time.

Well gotta get some sleep, it was a friggin whirlwind at work...put about 13 hrs so I'm beat. Then tomorrow's big grad for d18 and culmination for s14. S3 will be in pre school next school yr. . The WAW, well she's actually been nice and bought me dinner. Tomorrow I gotta exercise and ride my bike about 15 miles.

'Night DB,
Newman