Crimson.....Holy smokes, I'm piecing,

[25yearsmlc]

Hey Buddy

long time no see/hear and here you are IN PIECING!!

Ta Dah!!

If anyone deserves it (and most of us do!) it's you my man. You have worked hard.

But you do need some tools your wife still lacks. You need some help.

We ALL share the same concerns about divorce/marriage counsellors and you are still divorced---

but how will this work out if either or both of you revert?

I'm not terrified YOU will, I'm fearful your wife will think SHE has too much work to do "with you"

and that therefore it's not meant to be. Why not Retrovaille? No one shoves religion down your throat and my h isn't Catholic...

there are even non denominational ones and all that, but not as often.

But go. It will help her see your point of view AND FEEL forgiven

or at least not "like sh1t"...b/c the shame factor hurts marriages a lot.

Too much for most of us if we have pride, and if we have none, that's weird too.

I will check in later but that is my big concern.

SHE lacks the tools you have started to attain (though honestly a workshop would do you both wonders.)

I think you ought to consider attending an individual workshop ALONE so there is no inhibition about sharing fears AND learning to cope with them.

She has her fears too, God knows...

and to reiterate, RETROVAILLE b/c it's for couples who are in crisis or might be soon. You do qualify for that even if all feels good now.

More later...but CONGRATS!

PS your mom is entitled to her opinion and her feelings. So is your w.

You MUST choose your w if it's between them, but that does not give your w room for being a b1tch either. Privately call her on that if need be...DOWN THE ROAD not now..

I don't know all the dynamics, but I would not withdraw from my son...let alone my only grandchild. OTOH, your mom saw you very hurt, & in her view, unjustly.

And I assume she saw a lot less of her grandson. Ouch for her

But she's not the woman who is supposed to be number one in your life.

If you do recommit to your ex w, SHE has to come first...

it's just that I worry SHE has NOT done the deep digging you did and

MAYBE

that she might like seeing herself as being the gracious forgiving woman

a little much.

B/C to tell you the truth, it's not like YOU have no forgiveness work to do. She's behaved very inconsistently towards you at times...for sure. Good luck,

Keep us posted!