You're stuck seeing the house as a home, but in this negotiation, it is simply another financial asset.
If there is considerable equity in the home, it should be divided, minus any offsets for alimony.
Say, for instance, the house has $300k in equity, and your ex would normally have to pay you alimony of $20k a year for ten years. You could trade the alimony for his $150k half of the equity. (Not necessarily a wise trade, btw, if it's gonna leave you so cash poor that you can't pay your taxes and maintenance on the house later, but it's one option).
If, on the other hand, you are just saying H should give you the equity in the house because he's the one who left - most states would not see it that way these days.
What are you willing to give up to get that house equity? And is it really a wise choice?
