Child support hasn't been an issue, but the amount and duration of alimony is. Our biggest issue continues to be the house. He can easily buy another one. I cannot. We bought our house 16 years ago and there is considerable equity in it. I can't even buy a condo in our area for what the current mortgage is.
The house is a trigger for H. Walking away from it means that he worked all of those years to earn money for the mortgage and he won't have anything to show for it. I understand that. I truly do. But he chose to walk away.
On the flip side, I walked away from a solid career when our oldest was born. I can't get those earning years back. I'm at an income that I had 20 years ago. My home is my security and my only asset. I don't think H has the ability to see the issue from my perspective.
So, neither of us is wrong. We just have different needs and reasons for wanting what we want. And there's the other problem. H has such a need to be right. It was and is difficult for him to have a respectful discussion with me when there's a difference of opinion. He resorted to put downs, hang ups, leaving, etc. He can't agree to disagree. We needed our attorneys to suggest some solutions that were equitable, but that hasn't happened. They both have been too caught up in winning.
