Poepad, Thanks for the reply. I've read it several times today along with the other posts. I can relate to what Corrie said about being on a pity party. I think that the winter time brings the blues to me. I've been in a semi-blue mood since the first of December.
I am normally an upbeat person but even us happy campers have blue spells!
Quote: Past is the past, it isn't coming back.
I think this is one of the reasons I have been blue. I know that things are changing and I have to adjust to them and be content with what I do have. When he came home today I kept wrapping my arms around him and hugging him close and kissing him. He didn't push me away but he is not that interested in hugging me back other than a quick hug and he moves away. I guess that is what brings me down. Tears in the eyes right now (sniff sniff)I don't want anyone else - but it would feel so nice to have him make the effort to reach out and touch me and hold me.
Quote: So I understand what you mean. That is why dates and overnights are real important.
I asked him in the early part of the the week if he would like to go on one of those last minute cruises to Mexico. We don't live to far from the port and it would not be hard to arrange. As always he says no - can't get off work, etc. I had said it would be my Valentine to him - I got a nice end of the year bonus - and it was my treat. It made me think of what you said about pressuring him. I don't want him to feel pressured - but on the same token he has told me NOT to quit asking - that right now he needs to be reminded.
I have got to where I don't ask - I don't remind him - because the answer is always the same.
I am just on my very own pity party - I don't know who I am sadder for - me or him. I have'nt been able to sleep for the last few nights and that just makes it worse.
Quote: You misunderstood, as they age, they will be there less and less, and you and H are staring at each other with nothing to do.
I don't think we will have nothing to do...we get along better than we ever have outside the bedroom. We have many of the same interests and we are looking forward to being able to travel when the kids are no longer in the house. My "extra child" lives in the Grand Caymans and we hope to visit her more often. So I am not worried about not having anything in common when the kids are gone.
Quote: Now you sound like a HD guy, you see the sensitivity comes from lack of testosterone, and that is why I am saying sex or sensitivity . If he gets more test, then he will be less sensitive.
I am certainly glad he is more sensitive because in the past he could be shall we say DIFFICULT. I used to think this man absolutely hated me at times. My mom used to say that he hated himself and hated me for loving him. He was very complex and I certainly like this new sensitive person he has become.
I have told him that I almost feel like the people in the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" (showing my age here - that movie is 3 days older than dirt!) got him. He looks the same but he doesn't act the same. In some ways it has been great - but in one thing not so great.
Quote: Neicie, you may be unconsciously pressuring him, have you work on using the LOVE BANK CONCEPT.
If I am not mistaken (I have read the idea behind it but have not purchased a book) the love bank concept is that you put in "deposits" in your "love bank". I feel that I have deposited tons of $$ in the love bank. According to him I make him feel loved and desired - maybe too much so. So which do I do? Do I totally back off? Do I not hug and kiss him when he comes home? Should I stop all of the pampering or keep that up? I do it because I want to - I like spoiling him but is that making him feel pressured? Would it be better not to fuss over him? That would be very hard for me to do! Any advice is appreciated.
