You don't sound like an incoherent loon to me but I've been known to be a little on the looney side myself so take that for what it's worth .
This may come down to how we define loving someone and being "in love" with someone. To me being "in love" means being emotionally involved with someone on a day to day basis, being a tight part of each other's lives, and communicating openly and honestly. While I know I will always love and care about my W I'm starting to realize I'm not in love with her at this time. This isn't because I don't want to be, it's because it's what I need to do and it's what my W needs me to do.
I've spent the last 7 months since BD (and realistically much longer) trying to stay "in love" and it has held me back from moving forward on my own journey. Moving forward doesn't mean I'm moving on. It means I'm concentrating on me and kids only and not getting involved with her current stuff. It's really letting each of us walk our own walks.
I feel what you're saying and your goals for moving forward with no expectations and concentrating on you and your girls is the perfect mindset. My concern, only because I lived it, is now that I look back my desire to stay "in love" held me back from going all in for me.
Originally Posted By: PatientMan
As far as she knows, though, I'm moving forward and not waiting for her. And she both needed and deserved that release from me.
This is good, it does make me wonder if you really are moving forward for YOU and not because deep down you are acting 'as if' in hopes she'll come back. Reason I wonder this...because it was my exact mindset and I fought it for a long long time. At times I thought a few of the guys on here were going to show up at my house and kick my a$$ until I admitted it.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
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