So, I have been very conflicted lately. I feel like I am practicing on my H how to act, be more free, patient, understanding, interesting and even prettier. Is this weird? He's like my - if I can do this with "him" the one who crushed me, I must be becoming a stronger person which is how I would want to go into a new relationship ~ experiment.

I just don't feel like much of what I'm putting out is for his benefit as much as it's for me to learn from. Yea, you read here - be the one he'd be crazy to leave, but I think I am much more willing to leave him, just as he's trying to peek out.

My S26 and D19 want to move to Az for work/school which sounds very appealing to me, since we were all planning to move to NV pre-MLC. The idea that H wouldn't move doesn't deter me at all, it sounds like a nice way to make a clean break.

I don't hate him, I have L for him as a father, and as my long term person in life, but not as someone I want to spend my future w or rely on for the things I want, and need in life.

I can't help but continue thinking...this wouldn't be a problem if you didn't rock the boat buddy! I would have lived happily ever after, we were good together!

They MLCed before we knew there was a problem, we LBS lag behind, they peek as we come to terms.

Do we ever end up on the same page at the same time???

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!