I think you are missing Ellie's point. WAS's often offer more than what a court would award to end things quickly. LBS's want more, and drag things out. I would say INVARIABLY, LBS's wind up with less with this maneuver. As time goes on, WAS's become more comfortable with their actions, less guilty, and feel less urgency. So, they offer less, and less, and less.
I truly know of no LBS on the other side of divorce who wouldn't have been best off taking a very early offer. If you want security for your kids, then look at the state mandated level of support and the current offer. If the current offer is higher, then it is in your and your kids best interest to take it.
The longer this goes on, the less you will get.
H wants as few ties with you as possible. Perhaps you might try for a lump sum + child support. This is not a bad option, alimony is no fun. You both get freedom earlier, and your future financial situation is not hostage to whether you decide to remarry.
In my case, we went to a mediator in the beginning. He said very, very true words: "In any fair settlement, both parties feel screwed." Amazing insight, too easily brushed off as rhetoric at the time. Take what you can get, or hold out and get less. Were you the exception to the rule, you'd be the first I've seen in 10+ years of posting here.
