Interesting article. And one that rings true for many things I saw in my own situation. It's a bear to have that on your back, that's for sure. But it doesn't excuse the actions, so be careful, right? Even when depressed, we have choices and consequences.
Mine moved out for about six months. She left on Mother's day and left the kids with me, blaming me as being "too harsh" on the kids as the reason. Go figure. I let her come back after about six months with her telling me that she "loved" me etc. That didn't last long. But I remember during those times that I saw a lot of depression and her searching for the "why" eventually blaming me for it. I set several goals 1)get her over her depression, 2) get her to reconnect with the kids and 3)give her a chance to reconnect with me.
I found out later she was carrying on long convo's with OM (now husband). She still compares her happiness to that period and how she re-remembered her past. As recently as a few weeks ago (as a way of trying to hurt me when she didn't get the response she wanted; but there's some truth in it.)
What I know and I am trying to illustrate is this. H won't change until he has reason to. He won't "snap out of it" quickly and although he realizes what he is doing is wrong, he may not be ready to change. He, like many other addicts (addicted to the happiness chemicals referred to in the article) needs to hit bottom.
It is a circle, but to break it is going to take a reason. H has a reason, but may or may not see it yet.
Just be cautious and keep doing what you're doing, is all I'm saying.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
