Great post and it seems to coincide with the point I have reached in my M. Unlike your sitch, my M left me because I wasn't a nice person could have done so much more to respect and listen to her. That's the past now. I have made big changes to how I think, behave and interact with her and my sons.
Over time, my changes have begun to bring positive feedback from those around me and slowly but surely I started to feel happiness again. I became a better father, a better son, a better brother and a more considerate husband...even though W and I are separated.
My W noticed and acknowledged the change in me but did not trust it and chose to take the path that it would not last. I understand her scepticism and fear.
She withdrew even more and chose to cut communication to a minimum. I maintained my pma and respect and consideration for her.
She now wants to limit my days a week with my sons which hurts a lot. But I will continue to treat her respectfully and navigate through these challenges with love and compassion, it's the only way. I will contest this as I do not believe it is what is best for our sons...which is the justification she is giving me at the moment.. We are currently co-parenting and it is working fine so I don't understand the need for change. Our boys are happy.
So I'm at the crossroads now. I am happy with who I am becoming, but still feel a bitterness and resentment from my W. She has the right to feel what she feels and I have the right to choose not to engage with it.
I have accepted the death of my marriage and I'm optimistic about the future. Whether I contains my W or not, I'm not sure. At this stage it hurts to be around her, I don't enjoy our interactions so I can't say I want to get back with her. It's a sad realisation but liberating as well as it feels like I don't need to worry what she thinks of me anymore. I can just continue being that better me, for myself and for my sons.
I think I have finally detached this time, with a clear and positive outlook on life.
Thanks for your great post moth76... I read it every few days.
Me - 37 W - 37 M -5 T - 15
S=5 S=3
Seperated - 12/12 BD - 20/03/13 Still seperated - no R or M talk yet.
