As far as the script you are hearing, be careful when you catch yourself saying the same script or speaking in absolutes. Lest you find YOU are becoming the WAS.
I can imagine that you are having trouble thinking of things that kept you together. One exercise a counsellor will provide in M therapy is making a list of things your like about your spouse. It could be anything to the colour of their eyes, the way they laugh, being a great cook, being a loving parent, etc. Something you might try on your own.
You indicate that you've worked on some of the complaints. Are you talking about the ones you listed (sulky, etc) or different ones? What have you done to work on the ones you have been and how can you work on the ones you haven't?
