LimboWife, I just read through your situation and feel bad for you. My W is in MLC, but there was no physical affair with another man, and we do not have the added burden of financial difficulties.
You need to practice Sandi's 37rules. Give your MLC husband space! and take all the pressure off of him from you. Let Life create consequences, NOT you. Otherwise, he'll blame you for the problems.
Originally Posted By: Limbowife
He said last night he would " never give up his girlfriend for me." I told him how messed up it was to say your girlfriend to your wife.
Avoid these conversations. I suggest creating a boundary that you will NOT discuss his GF with him and you don't want to hear about it from him.
Also to give you some hope, my W has been going with younger, single women to night clubs as if she was 20 again. Well recently she told me how she appreciated her life and found their life lacking. This was a postive step in our relationship. The MLC has to learn these things for themselves. Eventually your H will see what a loser his GF is. If you tell him, he is going to argue and take the opposite position. So say nothing.
Originally Posted By: Limbowife
I have never felt so alone my entire life and he gets to life his happy life with a whore while I have to deal with the aftermath here. I am so upset for my kids. We are all suffering so much.
I doubt he is that happy, he may act happy but inside he is in turmoil. My W always seemed happy but sometimes she revealed how terribly unhappy she really was.
I can suggest you do some other things:
1. Contact bank and get finances in order -- it's up to you now.
2. GAL, which for you might just be to get a job
3. Work on your appearance. Look the best that you can look, and always in front of your Husband. He'll see what he left. Dress nice, whiten your teeth, update your clothes, wear make-up and perfume.
4. Exercise -- it will help you feel better, build self-esteem that is in question after your spouse does this, and it will help your appearance.
BTW, I started changing my appearance in terms of clothes, haircut, and exercise and it took a while before my W acknowledge the changes. She noticed but said nothing for a couple of months. Then she started complementing my physique and clothes.
For a MLC getting old is part of the identity, and they see their spouse is old, which means they are old. By improving your appearance you'll look and act younger. And you'll have more confidence. It works.
