A plan of action...vet advice needed

[lovethehub]

"Ok, I have admitted what my faults were in this M and continue to work on making myself the best option that I can be...... If my W still seems to be somewhere in the WAW/MLC journey, what else could possibly create a change of heart......"

Time.

It took almost 2 years before I was back in. I don't know the dynamics of your M but here some things my H did that I believe prolonged my lack of interest in truly restoring our M:

- Blamed me for everything, all conversations started at my A, never anything that happened prior

- Ignored me for years and suddenly wanted to bring me coffee, go out with me, give me hugs. Everything I had asked for over the course of our M but was no longer interested in

- Wanted to go to MC when I had asked for years and he wouldn't go

- Prior to A, never wanted to talk about anything. After A, wanted to talk about EVERYTHING. I couldn't stand it.

This is why DBing works so well. You apologize and then you give them the space they need to work through their feelings. Your spouse is very hurt from whatever has happened in your M (I will catch up on your story tonight). She most likely feels "why now?" and "too late". It doesn't mean it is.

Apologize for your part, let her know that you understand what you did wrong and why you believe she feels the way she does. That you wish you had understood prior and, when she is ready, you would like to show her that you truly get it. Let her know you want the M to work and you are ready to talk when she is.

Then give her space.