I find myself withdrawing from my wifes emotional needs when mine go unmet for so long. I think that is normal. In fact, I spent years trying to give her what she needed, all the while ignoring my own needs. I think it was very bad for our relationship.
Yesterday, she storms in from work, enraged at me because I am not meeting her needs. I asked her what her problem was and she told me that I had been acting so weird that she was tired of it.
Do you not see something amiss here?
I have not ignored her, or treated her badly, but it is my fault - according to her.
It is not my fault that she has a low sex drive. Slice it anyway you want, it isn't my fault. It isn't her fault that I have a high sex drive is it?
It is both our faults for not figuring this out a couple decades ago and doing something about it then.
She stormed in to get my attention - she really already had it, just not in the way she was accustomed to. It isn't some power game, but Mr. Stability has gone away. What's left isn't angry, just empty. That's my problem, and I will fill the void. Her problem is that it might not be with something she likes.
Like others have mentioned here, you can't find your happiness in someone else. She looks to me for all her happiness but is unprepared to add her part to the equation. This is bad news from two obvious perspectives.
Many times, I have tried to encourage her to find things that she is interested in. I have helped her be more self-assured. I have helped her develop talents in the technical fields. I have done what I could to improve her independence. Even if I could be her happiness, what the hell will she do when I am gone.
You can't find your sexdrive in your husband. If you want it back, then get aggressive and take it back. If he has robbed from you, then tell him and find an equitable solution. Whatever you do, don't wallow about and blame him. Take your life back then approach the problem between you.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
