I really think that we can make it, Girl

[RosaLinda]

or by the time you retire.
NO EXPECTATIONS! WHACK

OUCH Cadet! Thanks for the reminder!

[reachingHigher]

FY,

When they give us the dead hug, or pull away from us, that means we MUST back off. No pressure.

I found this very funny. So few people outside of our sitches here could understand this.

I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your sense of humor. It is fun to read these oh-so-serious things mixed with humor. Makes it easier to read!

I really hope your W starts appreciating a little physical contact. It sounds like a lot of the other ways she is connecting with you are really good.

I liked that you shared about her taking the pic of the cherries and posting it on FB. I'm convinced after watching my H's activities on FB that it is some kind of major validation for some people in depression (counting the "likes"). Helps them to have some cheering section or something. And it's their new life. That's why we can't be a part of it. (thinking of CB's sitch)

So...we've got out own cheering section here on this forum. But here we get actual help, advice and a way to vent.

Thanks for all your contributions and I always appreciate it when you visit my thread (I can't divulge how short the dress was or high the heels...but I'm thinking it was a winning combo from the look on H's face )

[ForeverYoung]

I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your sense of humor. It is fun to read these oh-so-serious things mixed with humor. Makes it easier to read!

Thank you. I figure a laugh here and there is not only good for us, but is the best way to get through this MLC stuff. Plus, the better mood we are in, the more attractive we are.

I just finished watching some clips of Sid the cussing rabbit. (Craig Ferguson) Had me cracking up! W was in the other room, but I heard her laugh a few times too.

I really hope your W starts appreciating a little physical contact. It sounds like a lot of the other ways she is connecting with you are really good.

I think she's connecting more too, but it's so hard to tell when progress is so slow, and there are routine ups and downs. But if she can find it in her to up the contact, it would make it oh so much easier for me to stand through this.

I liked that you shared about her taking the pic of the cherries and posting it on FB. I'm convinced after watching my H's activities on FB that it is some kind of major validation for some people in depression (counting the "likes"). Helps them to have some cheering section or something. And it's their new life. That's why we can't be a part of it. (thinking of CB's sitch)

They have to find themselves, learn to love themselves. I'm convinced that if we work on being our best selves, and are able to wait long enough, they will come back to us. But sometimes they sure can make the waiting awfully difficult, can't they?

So...we've got out own cheering section here on this forum. But here we get actual help, advice and a way to vent.

Just like you, this place is awesome! Thanks RH.

[lionhrt]

"I liked that you shared about her taking the pic of the cherries and posting it on FB. I'm convinced after watching my H's activities on FB that it is some kind of major validation for some people in depression (counting the "likes"). Helps them to have some cheering section or something. And it's their new life. That's why we can't be a part of it. (thinking of CB's sitch)"

Is FB a common factor for the MLCers? These with the first signs with W. Her new life on FB, reconnecting with old BF, school friends etc etc. Of course I couldn't be part of it, I asked once and got "I'm entitled to a private life" snap.

That site has a lot to answer for

FY, how r u anyway? Take care

[RosaLinda]

They have to find themselves, learn to love themselves. I'm convinced that if we work on being our best selves, and are able to wait long enough, they will come back to us. But sometimes they sure can make the waiting awfully difficult, can't they?

I believe this too FY. When my H temporarily came out of his trance for a few months, he was my same old beloved H again, so I know he's still in there somewhere. I have no expectations ( ) that it will happen this month or even this year, but I am convinced that if I keep working on becoming a better person, follow the DB techniques and hold on long enough, he will retun to me. 

But yes, it is SO hard. Linda M

[RosaLinda]

I hope you're doing okay FY, and had a nice holiday weekend. I bought some cherries at the grocery store, and they made me think of you and laugh!
--Linda M

[ForeverYoung]

Is FB a common factor for the MLCers? These with the first signs with W. Her new life on FB, reconnecting with old BF, school friends etc etc. Of course I couldn't be part of it, I asked once and got "I'm entitled to a private life" snap.

I figure if our spouse wants to hang out on FB, then us trying to control things won’t go well, especially when they’ve already told us they want out of the M. Has there ever been a case where butting in worked out well for the relationship?

None of our spouses know that we’re posting here, so in a way, we have a private life too... and one that we would rather our S didn't know about or try to butt into!

Holiday weekend was good, went to Great Lakes Dragaway with my Lil’ Sis (W's BFF) and her H to watch the Olympics of Drag Racing on Sunday. Some may remember Lil Sis recently moved back into her H's home, after living on her own for a year.

The show got rained out, but we went to a nice restaurant for dinner and still had fun. It was just W and I in our car for the hour and a half ride each way, with lots of quiet time. Oh well, it is what it is.

I bought some cherries at the grocery store, and they made me think of you and laugh!

You can’t see it, but I’m clicking on the “Like” button right now!

Well, it’s just about the end of the line for this thread, (that went fast) so here’s an appropriate song from my favorite garage band, The Traveling Wilburys.

"End Of The Line"

Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, doing the best you can
Well it's all right, as long as you lend a hand

You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring (End of the Line)
Waiting for someone to tell you everything (End of the Line)
Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring (End of the Line)
Maybe a diamond ring

Well it's all right, even if they say you're wrong
Well it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong
Well it's all right, As long as you got somewhere to lay
Well it's all right, everyday is Judgment Day

Maybe somewhere down the road aways (End of the Line)
You'll think of me, wonder where I am these days (End of the Line)
Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays (End of the Line)
Purple haze

Well it's all right, even when push comes to shove
Well it's all right, if you got someone to love
Well it's all right, everything'll work out fine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line

Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive (End of the Line)
I'm glad to be here, happy to be alive (End of the Line)
It don't matter if you're by my side (End of the Line)
I'm satisfied

Well it's all right, even if you're old and gray
Well it's all right, you still got something to say
Well it's all right, remember to live and let live
Well it's all right, the best you can do is forgive

Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, even if the sun don't shine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line

Bust On my friends!

[RosaLinda]

None of our spouses know that we're posting here, so in a way, we have a private life too... and one that we would rather our S didn't know about or try to butt into!

True statement FY. But the difference in having private lives pre- and intra-MLC, is that my H and I used to trust each other. When you trust someone, you're not consumed with worry about what they're doing. It would never have occurred to me to do some of the things I've done since he started cheating on me, despicable things like reading his email and  text messages, and standing outside his door trying to hear what he's talking about on skype. I never worried about who he was with or what they might be saying to each other. 

But you're right -- our Ss are entitled to their privacy and space without us trying to butt in or control them. 

I'm glad you had a nice weekend, even in the rain. A quiet time together during a long drive beats yelling and arguing the whole time! 

Great, appropriate lyrics too, thanks for sharing. The best we can do IS forgive! I hope to be forgiven too.

[RosaLinda]

PS I read thru a lot of your old threads last night when I could not sleep, and am so impressed by how introspective and how deep and wise you, TSquared2 and Snodderly are. And Cadet. You guys are my heroes, and you and T2 are still in the middle of this insanity. Just saying.....

[uRworthy]

FY, glad you had a nice weekend. I have to ask you, your little sister is your wife's BF? So, does she know about you and your wife? Just curious.