help me understand the "moving forward" I can't do it. it is pain like none other and It completely numbs me. i can't move. i can't sleep. talking to people angers me because all they say is move on. how?
It is a pain like no other. I guess you just get to a point too where you realize that what's going on isn't healthy and you're losing. Losing what? Sleep,Hair,life,productivity,time and most importantly you! I love my W with every fiber of me. However, I love me too and i'm determined to keep myself on track. I can't continue to be the fool that i've been the past month.
I don't argue with her anymore, the bible says "we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but the unseen power(spiritual) things". So all I have now is prayer and I know it changes things. So i've decided to step aside for the heavy artillery to work and that is God!! It's tough but it's essential at this point.
Big hugs! It is really hard -- this month we were going to start trying to conceive, so Mother's Day was pretty devastating for me. But you are absolutely right--- getting caught up in grief will not help. You gotta keep it moving, take care of yourself and your kiddo, and focus on making a life you will be happy with with or without your wife.
Me: 30 H: 29 M: 2 yrs T: 5 years BD: 12/14/12 Divorce talk begins 1/6/13 I filed: 5/20/13 -- no contact since
Has anyone else ever experienced this? So one day we are fine not in regards to relationship, just cordial laughing talking normal stuff. Then the next day its like she's upset we had a good day the day before and totally reverts to being a total stranger the next day. It's extremely frustrating. She keeps harping on this D talk so I told her quit threatning me with D, if you want to do pull the trigger. Not sure if that is DB approved, i'm just a little tired of hearing that. It is becoming more apparent that this is a marathon and not a sprint. And I very much dislike long distance running! LOL. I'm a sprinter in every aspect of my life(PATIENCE)I know.
I try to remember this "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her..." It's tough but...I'm still satanding.
Has anyone else ever experienced this? So one day we are fine not in regards to relationship, just cordial laughing talking normal stuff. Then the next day its like she's upset we had a good day the day before and totally reverts to being a total stranger the next day. It's extremely frustrating.
I think they calls an AOBM, an "alien on break moment", when the alien that has taken over the WAS steps out for coffee and we get to see the person we remember, albeit fleetingly.
This will happen repeatedly but it never lasts, so it's probably best just to enjoy it while it lasts but have no expectations one way or the other.
M41 W42 M 12 T 15 S10, D9, twin Ds 3 1/2 BD 1/2/2013 Living as roommates Working on D agreement w. mediator 5/13
Lol! Def. So today was interesting to say the least. I left work early to take care of errands. Well she was off and asked if I wanted to go to spend the day with her and her niece whom I love dearly. She was in town for a field trip from another state. So reluctantly I agreed. Well we had the best day we've had in 6months together. No arguing, no fighting. I even got called baby more than a few times and also rubbing on my back in a very affectionate manner. Now the thing I'm most happy about was my response.
I BROUGHT UP NO RELATIONSHIP TALK!! It took all I had but I remained 37 rules strong! As we were walking to the car to leave we actually held hands. She started crying(I didn't tell her to stop!) I asked what was wrong she said "I just don't like hurting you. My response was Nothing. I just listened! She just sent me a text that said thanks for a stress free evening....
what is the situation with the kids? trying to sort it all out. you don't have kids together but you have kids from previous marriages? do you see them often?
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
Hey guys took a little break to decompress a bit, I was getting inundated with too many thoughts.
Little update: Moved out and I don't like it very much but doing the best I can to maintain. Move out day was a tough day we both cried, and she told me she hated how she felt but she doesn't feel like she can change itn and that she's mad at me for doing this to us. I wanted to repsond that it wasn't just me why we are here but i refrained. I've talked to her a few times since then and it's been pretty benign to put it midly. This is where I get confused as to what i should or should not be doing. I'm trying to 180 the best I can but honestly sometimes I find it hard to do so when my problem all along was not giving enough attention. Right now though it's best I try to keep contact to a minimum.
I picked up a new client so personal training is going well and prospects for the business grows daily. Trying to work on just being a better man, father, son and friend. The rollercoaster occaisionally gets the best of me but overall i'm hanging thanks to all the support i've been getting here thanks guys.
I went out on sunday with a friend, I was very reluctant to go just because of my vulnerable state right now. Well I was hit on by more than a few women(which has been my issue to be honest) but i'm proud to say I didn't feed into the overatures. Might sound like it should be a given it hasn't and that is a HUGE win for me! So i'm def growing!! I just hate it took the most important person in my life to walk away for me to get it.
As far as me kids I se them every other weekend and that is the only thing that is right in my world right now!! love my babies and see them actually takes the pain away.
Side note: I forgot to get to in last post. We went on a picnic for memorial day and she laid her head on me and we talked. Well when we got home she asked for a massage. I actually got to touch her naked body lol!! She asked that I be respectful and I was but boy oh boy! I was in overdrive, I know it was a test that I feel as though I handled well!
