Not confused...trying to keep hope alive!!!

[BRNR]

Portia, I am sure you are right that I will hit a low moment soon, as they seem to come when we least expect.

I almost feel as if I have given up trying to save my marriage. If it is saved, then great, if it isn't, then it isn't. This sitch has destroyed parts of my marriage that I will never get back even if we do R.

So at this point I have let go. I am doing nothing but focusing on me...and doing things now that I will never be able to do in a marriage to my H or otherwise. I know that sounds a bit selfish, but it is what it is.