Poe, Thanks for the post. I am trying to keep myself open to all possiblities and solutions!
Quote: Hmm, he is doing for you. Rem we only need 1 minute, the rest we do for you
I want him to do it for him also! I know that sometimes he is interested in only him and that is fine occassionally. In the past we would spend hours making love. He never was a quickie type guy on a regular basis. He sometimes wants a quickie now and like I said occassionally is ok but if it is the only sex I am going to have for 2 or 3 weeks I am not interested in a quickie - I want the whole enchilada.
Quote: After the first one it was duty sex, in my case if I ML middle of the day, I got sore anchors.
Like I said, it didn't feel like duty sex - just not the passion that I was used to. I've got duty sex before from my ex - what a nightmare - I'd rather not have sex if duty sex was the best he could come up with. He has said that ML is better for him during the daylight hours. He said at night now that he is wiped out by bedtime and when he takes his medications it is all over but the shouting. Daylight sex is hard to come by when you have 2 teenagers and one grown son in the house - we have an fairly large home but our bedroom is on the same side of the house as their rooms. What exactly is sore anchors? Hate to be dumb but that one threw me.
I think it could be the testosterone levels. I am going to see if he will have it checked. He always had a high sex drive up until about 4 years ago and it gradually has diminished.
We are a LONG way from an empty nest. Our youngest just turned 13 so it will be at least 5 years before she would go off to college and we don't really want her to go too far away!
Quote: Question, you want more sex or sensitivity????
I always want more sex!! LOL...he has actually become pretty sensitive these days. He has truly come a long way and I am very glad for that. I do hope that I can get him to understand that I want that special closeness with him that I get from ML with him - to become one with him. We have know each other right at 25 years and I still find him wildly attractive - he has always been like a magnet to me and I have not been able to turn off the sexual attraction in the least.
I do not want this to come between us and I feel that I have let it overrule everything else. By the same token though, I want him to realize how important intimacy is to me - I am not a neutered cat and don't even want to pretend that I am.
I love my H with all of my heart and can't imagine life without him. He is who I want to go to sleep with and wake up with each and every day - sex or no sex. Outside of the LD problem we get along 10x better than we did even when we were dating! We do spend quality time together each week and enjoy each other's company.
In some ways I feel I am the one who will have to change and accept that this is just the way it is and get over it. It is just been hard to accept gracefully when sex is still at the top of my list of life's greatest pleasures!
