This has been a very interesting post ping ponging back and forth. I can relate to both sides here.
Corrie's projects are very near and dear to her heart - projects can often be like your child - it is something you developed, nutured, and when it comes to fruitian it is a like a climax. I am speaking as a HD person here that has had an extremely complex project going on before. When I "won" and that was literally how I felt about it I was ecstatic - my H less so.
All he could see is that I spent so much time, effort, and energy into something that did not directly involve him or our family. He did not feel the thrill of getting my computer manufacturing onto the state set aside program as something totally unique and I did it all!
In some ways it was like great sex. My project was near and dear to me and was tangible proof that I was going a bang up job! (no pun intended) Yes he was proud of me to a degree but he did not glory in it like I did. All he knew is that I had to make lots of trips to the state capital and was away from home.
Corrie's project is just as important to her as sex is to ya'll. Everyone is different - God made us that way - and while sometimes it causes friction in marriages - both parties need to recognize the wants and needs of the other.
Sounds to me like Corrie is working hard to please her H in what she knows is very important to him - would it hurt him to be thrilled about something so important to her?
I know how easy it is to focus on just the sexual aspects of your relationships. As I posted earlier I am fighting with my own problems right now in the matter of real passion vs. "I am doing what you asked isn't that enough?"
My point is that we have to take into account that every one of us is different and that when we see our spouse working to bring about changes we should celebrate those instead of acting like it is not good enough. that is the hard part - celebrating something that is not exactly what we wanted.
I wanted the Rx he took to "fix" all of our problems. To a certain degree it took care of some but not all. Don't think the Rx agreed with his system - don't know if he will be able to take it again - so I am right back where I started.
But I am very pleased that he took the steps to at least try. And I have tried to let him know how pleased I was.
Everyone's situation is different - Cemar, you have a tough one and I feel like Corrie said - your frustration comes from feeling like your wife is not interested in even TRYING to make changes.
Everone has their point of view and these postings have helped me take a better look at my own situation and hopefully make the right decisions and take the right actions that will help my marriage.
The main thing is to be sensitive to each others needs/wants and the contributions that each is making.
