round and around we go

[Tallula]

Your GALS are great!! Those weren't hard for me, either. I've always had an active life.

Listening. Wow, this one was something I didn't realise I had trouble with, but I did. I started by repeating everything H said, instead of interupting or formulating what I was going to say to him. I listen alot not. Many times I don't even answer with anything about me, I think on it for awhile. Really truely listening to someone is a skill. One that I am still working on.

What is he lying to you about? When my H was still living here, he lied about staying over at OW's house and I found out. So I told him later I knew he had lied. He said he was trying to spare my feelings. Once I asked him to move out, it just wasn't my buisness anymore. He didn't owe me anything. I would ask him at drop off on sundays if he planned on seeing the kids during the week. He would answer. If he said no, I accepted it. Didn't ask questions. When he canceled I didn't ask questions. It was hard, but it became easy.

As far as him being in your home to spend time with the kids, if this is upsetting to you, as him to spend time with them away from the home. I know that once we really kept everything separate, I really became to truly detach from my H. His crazy mood swings no longer bothered me. Another stander puts it like this. WAS go 10 feet up and 10 feet down, LBS need to only go 5 feet up and 5 feet down. I barely inch anymore. It's amazing!!

I read alot of anger in your posts. Which, I understand. Which is normal. I can't remember who, but there was a suggestion here to use your anger as a shield, not a sword. I have done that. Anger is only hurting you. Resentment is normal. I'm not saying your have to forgive your H. I look at it as getting "Meh". I"m "meh" about my H's cheating.