CB, I have treasured the times during this MLC journey where there has been that honesty between me and my H. I think that's a good thing.
I can tell instantly now when he shuts down emotionally.
One of our jobs is to keep giving them the open I-accept-you-right-where-you-are attitude, even though that is really difficult on our part. They know it hurts us. It's like they can't help it. Hurting us is a by-product of their journey of self-discovery.
I think the love between you two is an underlying current that keeps you connected.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Just checked my wife's Friends and Likes to see if she followed through and some progress. She deleted tat-boy's public page and his business's page, which she had liked. She hadn't yet deleted tat-boy's private FB page, which requires you be a friend to see, but the fact that she deleted any is, I think, a good sign.
CB, possibly running up to kick the ball...
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
I should have added self-torture, I suppose. Everytime I see OM still there, it is a source of frustration. I know I should stop doing it and believe it or not, I have stopped doing a lot of the things that I was doing that led to frustration for me.
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
Tonight W was very brief with me. We had an end-of-season volleyball party that we drove separately to because after she took D to softball practice, then to a close friend's. She hardly spoke to me and since I got home was very distant and, I don't know, different. Isolating. Felt like it used to before BD in March. Can't put a finger on it. Not sure if I should say anything tonight when she gets home or just go to bed and save it for the MC tomorrow. Maybe it is just my sense of anxiety and nothing is really wrong?
Thinking about TVS's poem about trivial objects turning into deadly projectiles...
Hosting neighborhood poker tomorrow night so tonight I kept busy cleaning, getting tables set up, etc. Plus getting the kids in bed. CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
It's a pattern I observed constantly in my H until reconnection. Periods of closeness/honesty are followed by distancing.
She is telling you she needs some space. I recommend giving as her as much as she needs.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
You are mind reading....my experience was/is that my W's moods change on a dime, completely unpredictable...could be anything, both bad or good, only she knows.... let it be... T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Strategy for MC today...not really sure. I think I will just sit back and see where the session takes us and STFU. It is interesting that W has defriended tat-boy's public site, but not his private site and, she hasn't accepted my FB request (which MC said he would ask about) but now things are in the open so let's see where they go? Maybe a strategy isn't always a good thing...
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
