round and around we go

[willbwell]

I talk to a coach tomorrow. I know the things I should do... Implementing them is much harder!
I've not called or sent a text today. I just write in my journal what I would say. H has not called or text kids. not even D15(cp) which he usually does everyday. I have always encouraged the kids to spend time with their dad. I'll suggest movies, I'll have him take the kids to dinner so I can study.D15 would ask why don't I go. I would say, oh, I need to study...When H is at home ,I'll tell S16 off the computer, spend time with dad.

I don't know that I can say that he tried. He did come back home for 2 weeks. Maybe his version of trying but it wasn't 100%. He had contacted OW before coming home. Caught him in two too many lies.
I want to lose the expectations. Hardest for me. I thought my H was a standup guy. I know he's human. I know he is sad. I wish he would get some help.
He thinks the kids will be ok. Yes, they will, but I also think he has scarred them. I am the one at home being the parent.
ok, enough about him. Got to stop doing this. Was reading someone's post about anger...jp I think...Need to get beyond it. Its no good.

Haven't decided about this weekend yet. on the one hand, nice for H to have time with kids. They will eat out all meals. He will sleep in our bed. On the other hand, I am allowing cake eating. He will leave town on sunday when I get back. Time with kids is at his convenience. He couldn't be with them last week because he had "other plans" I am also trying LRT. The kids won't stay at his apt. so that is not an option.