If you were such a good wife then why did i stray?

[tiredndrained]

Hi mizjjd...yes, still here. Just nothing new to report. We were doing much better but mostly bc I just gave up and started doing my own thing. Once I started not caring it got better. Yesterday I found something from 6 mos ago regarding the OW. I got upset and started a big fight. Continued this morning and I told him at the very least all this time he is still there he could have been trying and then he said he has and things are so much better now. I agree but then it made me sad bc if he was trying why didn't he say anything. If he felt they were better, then why was he still walking out every night. Why did I not feel like we were actually fixing things rather then just existing together civilly. Anyway, it made me very sad. Cried a lot this morning. I had it in my head we were over and just move on then I got to thinking maybe he really wants to try. With that being said, our argument was awful and who knows where we are now. I realize to start an argument about something that happened 6 mos ago was crazy but some times these things just resurface in my brain. I saw on FB the OW that he was dating was out on "date night" this past Sat. As it turns out it was the one night my H was home with the family so maybe she has moved on from him.... at least and it is one less worry. Anyway, how are you doing? I hope you are getting better with your H.