In a sick turn of events the OM wife somehow found out. I've haven't seen or talked to he since this all went down. She texted me last night saying she found a pic from last year that my wife sent OM of her cleavage.
I confronted wife because she told me at the time she didn't send any pics. She confirmed she sent it last last when she was "caught up in all of that". I was obviously pissed and re-affirming to her everything I've done in the last year to help save this family and now I have to find out some thing else? She swore up and down that nothing physically sexual happened. I kept my frame the whole time.
I said what about this past year? Everything thats happened? You made it seem at times that everything was going to be okay? She just said she was trying. I said "if you're being truthful and there's no other man, what do you think you're going to do? Move in with your sister? Then what? What men do you think are out there?"
She then proceeded to say that despite everything I've done she's still not attracted to me. She said it hadn't been good since our son was born 5 years ago. What the he11? I was there, it wasn't bad. She was rationalizing out of her azz about everything I said.
She said she couldn't see us married in 3 years from now. I said we've only been trying this for 6 months to a year. She feels she's in a lose lose situation. If she stays shes doing me a miss service because she's still not into me, but if she goes she's giving up on our family and kids.
The just of the conversation was that it isn't going to work. I'm devastated. Told her I'm goin out and went and had a pint with my friend that has helped me through this situation. When I got home she was sleeping in son's bed.
When we spoke this morning I said (stern but calm voice) "the mother of my children and my wife, doesn't send pics of her cleavage to a man", "I'm tired of all this. Your probably going to be relieved because you've made your "BS attraction problems" very clear, but you need to go. Then I walked away.
I went upstairs a few minutes later and she was laying with the kids in bed crying. When I left the room she followed and asked if she could talk to me. She starting crying and saying how sorry she was for everything and thanked me for everything I've done in the last year, told me she loved me, didn't want it to turn out like this etc etc. I just listened, didn't say a word. I got the kids ready and left.
I'm just shattered thinking about not having my wife and more importantly splitting up my kids. My poor kids are going to be so distraught it makes me cry to think about it. Then on top of that I'm going to have to sell my house and move my kids to a strange place. Our street is their whole life. Then they'll have to go to mommy's new house. And deal with seeing us individually every other week? I've heard "kids are resilient" "they bounce back"-F THAT. This is going to affect them for the rest of their lives.
Wife's sister, who's 30, just split up with her husband 2 weeks ago for the exact same reasons as ours. Hell of a guy too. So I'm assuming my wife will stay there. Enabling environment much? My wife is going to have no income (she currently works for me and my family), no car (company car) and staying with her sister that's an hour away. She would rather do that then stay and work our marriage?
Anyway, sorry for the rant I'm pretty emotional. All signs are pointing to it being over and I'm having a really hard time with it. No idea what to do. I'm going to try go dark with her for a while.
M-38 W-32 D7, S4 M-10 BD-May '12 S for 1 month-June '12 Reconcile, Piecing
